Tuesday, 17 December 2013
The concluding part of "Other Than My Skin"
My day at work wasn't great! While dashing out of the car, my middle finger got jammed with the door. Excruciating was too mild to explain d pain that shot through my throbbing finger so I guess blushing explained it better. The meetings I had ran longer than I thought and I was put on the spot cos evri1 wanted to know if Annie should be respected or pitied. I showed them. Just when I thought of settling to lunch, a facebook notification popped up. Lo and behold, it was her and him. I couldn't help but zoom in and out of the picture. Lekan made me forget about my insecurities. He made me confident. Our first date was spectacular. He paid compliments like they were his language and engaged me in topics I couldn't imagine. He was smooth, too smooth. He sounded like he did this all day and that's were the warning bells rung fervently but I turned deaf to them. On purpose!We would walk into malls n people would stare rudely but Lekan handled it well. His friends I could tell, wondered what he saw in me. All these I noticed n made sure I made little or no issues. These were the reasons why it was shocking when Lekan's disappearing acts begun. He would cut d call in d middle of conversations, he started dragging his feet when it came to going to church with me. He claimed I distracted him or rather, I caused an uproar with my condition in Church. I couldn't understand especially as he had popped my cherry or did I feel I was losing him. Was I that inexperienced? My thoughts and questions were answered three weeks later when my friend pinged and asked I check facebook. He never uploaded my picture on social networks. He claimed he didn't want anyone making fun or commenting rudely. I opened his page. There he was, smiling from ear to ear at his new born son. From the pictures I scrolled through while shaking profusely , she had been in London and just got into Nigeria two weeks ago with their 1month old baby. I called my sister twelve times, no response. I paced up and down the sitting room till I became dizzy and passed out...Its been three years since I last saw Lekan and even though he was my world, iv come to realise that love is not for me. U can call me weak, sensitive or the worst, a woman with trust issues but 1 thing is certain, I died emotionally the day I saw the pictures and that death cannot happen twice. I will prefer to b alone and imagine what it would feel to have love than have love then lose it. My Skin made me an object of pity. I never want to feel that way again...The End.
Monday, 9 December 2013
Continuation : Other than my skin!
Lunch at my family house was as usual, suffocating. I knew the conversation would some how tilt to my direction and I would be interrogated on how the new job was turning out for me. Since I was d only single child , I had to make sunday dinner a routine. Not like I had something better to do. " So, how are you settling in? Have you seen any young man that you have your eyes on? Hope u r on your toes at the office? When are you bringing a young handsome man home?" My dad and mum threw these questions expecting answers. I stopped eating and played with the napkin I had neatly placed on my thighs. Looking up feebly, I stared at my father and gave a reassuring smile as I said, "I'm on my toes dad". I ignored my mum and continued eating with little or no interest. She shook her head and heaved a sigh. She knew I wasn't ready to open that page. Not now, not yet, not ever! Scratch that, may be later. She knew Lekan! she had met him twice or thrice. She was impressed and considered him charming but that was the way he was. He could crawl his way into anyone's heart. Lekan bribed my gate man with a thousand naira. Judas Iscariot sold my number for just one thousand naira. I wouldn't say my tummy didn't bubble at the sound of his voice when he called. He sounded refreshing. He made me want to listen even if all he uttered were in chinese. He introduced himself as Lekan Thomas, he was 32, a well established architect and came from a long line of architects who were behind most of d beautiful buildings on the island. All these brought me back to the question I asked him next, "so why are you calling?" Lekan was quiet for a few seconds. He however answered, "because you are different". Different? What d hell did he mean by different? The fact that I lacked melanin , yeah, lacked melanin instead of that stupid word, gave him no right to..."Annie, are you there?", Lekan sounded worried. "Did I say something wrong?" Lekan asked again. ' Annie, compose yourself!', I said to myself. "No you didn't",I answered finally. The conversation ended seconds later. That was d beginning of something that I thought would last just as long as the first call. Lekan made me conscious! I took the gym more seriously in hopes of finding him there. Lekan never showed up there. Apparently, he was a one timer at the gym. We chatted so often, we even went as far as given each other secret identity names. He called me grey because of my eyes and I called him muscles because of his body that I couldn't get my mind off. Lekan made me open up doors and explore both mentally and emotionally in ways that I knew would scar me for life if whatever we had ever ended. A thought I could never think of without my heart skipping beats. I wondered what got into me but I knew I was like a bird who after so long in a cage, finally tasted freedom.
Grey was the colour I chose to wear the next day to the office. I was in all sorts and couldn't help the feeling of indifference. Akpan pulled out of the compound and I could swear he dived right into traffic purposely. Akpan used the 'no movement' situation to talk flippantly about the world, traffic, life and so many topics that the only way of surviving was to either knock him or zone out of the scenario. Being a calm person, I chose the latter. Work would be uneventful. After meeting with the expatriate, I would b back to my open wound of an office pretending to be super busy so as to avoid some of my colleagues who have been trying to get my attention. it would b nice if dandelions were placed in my office today. I let my mind wonder from the most irrelevant things to the most important things. I am single again. Although it had been for a while now, I began to ask myself, am I that bad? Was it a sin to be an 'anyali', as the ibo people would call it. The few friends I had got married and left me. The ying yang angels appeared again. The evil one suggested I run away but that's a no no since I just started a dream job. The good one went on with patience. Why did Lekan go all the way if hurting me was going to be the outcome. I adjusted myself, Lekan blew me away. After three months of talking without ceasing, he asked me on a date. He let me pick the restaurant so that I could be comfortable. My sister went nuts in preparation that at a point , I wondered who was going for a date. She made me wear the gown her husband got her on their 3rd anniversary. It was a red,long-sleeved knee length dress that was so tight. I also had to wear shoes so high, I wondered if my sister wanted me to look more of her. After I had almost ruined the eye liner because of my eyes, my sister Joan was done with my make up. She kissed my cheek and I walked shakily to the car Akpan had pulled out. I was to meet him at 8 o'clock at Victoria Island. He was waiting for me and I contemplated turning back especially as the dress gave me little or no room to breathe. Akpan pulled into the restaurant and for a few minutes I sat there looking at the door. "Make I park madam?, Akpan asked.
I opened the door slowly and walked up the stairs. The surprised look on the face of Joseph the door man, only made me more nervous. I stopped and squinted, looking for Lekan. He wasn't seated. I called his number severally but no response. Just when I thought of calling Akpan to pull out, I felt a peck on my neckline. I turned slightly to the warmest smile I had ever seen. I blushed, he smiled
wider. "Annie...", there was a way he pronounced my name. I could swear he made it sound more interesting than the two syllabic word that it was. We walked to the table at d farthest corner and he pulled out a chair for me which I sat in....The burning sensation from the leather of the car seat dragged me from my remembrance. Akpan had put on the car heater by mistake. We were few blocks away from my office by this time. I pushed myself up using my palms as the seat cooled off. Finally at the office, I dashed out of the car. The day was going to be gloomy, I could feel it! To be continued! Cheers
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
Grey was the colour I chose to wear the next day to the office. I was in all sorts and couldn't help the feeling of indifference. Akpan pulled out of the compound and I could swear he dived right into traffic purposely. Akpan used the 'no movement' situation to talk flippantly about the world, traffic, life and so many topics that the only way of surviving was to either knock him or zone out of the scenario. Being a calm person, I chose the latter. Work would be uneventful. After meeting with the expatriate, I would b back to my open wound of an office pretending to be super busy so as to avoid some of my colleagues who have been trying to get my attention. it would b nice if dandelions were placed in my office today. I let my mind wonder from the most irrelevant things to the most important things. I am single again. Although it had been for a while now, I began to ask myself, am I that bad? Was it a sin to be an 'anyali', as the ibo people would call it. The few friends I had got married and left me. The ying yang angels appeared again. The evil one suggested I run away but that's a no no since I just started a dream job. The good one went on with patience. Why did Lekan go all the way if hurting me was going to be the outcome. I adjusted myself, Lekan blew me away. After three months of talking without ceasing, he asked me on a date. He let me pick the restaurant so that I could be comfortable. My sister went nuts in preparation that at a point , I wondered who was going for a date. She made me wear the gown her husband got her on their 3rd anniversary. It was a red,long-sleeved knee length dress that was so tight. I also had to wear shoes so high, I wondered if my sister wanted me to look more of her. After I had almost ruined the eye liner because of my eyes, my sister Joan was done with my make up. She kissed my cheek and I walked shakily to the car Akpan had pulled out. I was to meet him at 8 o'clock at Victoria Island. He was waiting for me and I contemplated turning back especially as the dress gave me little or no room to breathe. Akpan pulled into the restaurant and for a few minutes I sat there looking at the door. "Make I park madam?, Akpan asked.
I opened the door slowly and walked up the stairs. The surprised look on the face of Joseph the door man, only made me more nervous. I stopped and squinted, looking for Lekan. He wasn't seated. I called his number severally but no response. Just when I thought of calling Akpan to pull out, I felt a peck on my neckline. I turned slightly to the warmest smile I had ever seen. I blushed, he smiled
wider. "Annie...", there was a way he pronounced my name. I could swear he made it sound more interesting than the two syllabic word that it was. We walked to the table at d farthest corner and he pulled out a chair for me which I sat in....The burning sensation from the leather of the car seat dragged me from my remembrance. Akpan had put on the car heater by mistake. We were few blocks away from my office by this time. I pushed myself up using my palms as the seat cooled off. Finally at the office, I dashed out of the car. The day was going to be gloomy, I could feel it! To be continued! Cheers
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
Sunday, 1 December 2013
Other than my skin...
Staring out my window,I waited for akpan! I had been calling him for d past 5mins and he was no where to b found!"Mschew dis driver ehn",I shook my head and stared harder at the interlocking tiles on the ground outside!A lot of the tiles were missing!That was d way my life was!A lot of things were missing!I was 32,single,not in a relationship. There was something else I lacked,self confidence...I couldn't muster d courage for anytin adventurous...I was good being in d quiet corner and observing...Today however was going to b different-hopefully...I was resuming at Shell Oil,my biggest dream was finally unfolding...what I dreaded d most was my co-wokers reaction...would dey shriek and stare rudely or would it b like in secondary school???
I gained admission into Queens College Yaba and I was totally excited abt it..on monday morning,my mum put on my uniform and started whispering to me words of encouragement and confidence which she did all d tym...I sed bye to my mum hastily and complained thru out my journey to skul dat d driver was too slow...arriving in my class,I was late and as such,my teacher brot me to d front of class amidst d scared looks on people's faces..."Class,meet Annie Williams,she will be joining you all" she said....d next tin I heard was ,"She is a ghost","She is scary","Y r her eyes shaking",her hair is gold"....tears streamed down my face and I ran out of d class....I neva came back..d experience ruined me and my mum had to send me to london for schooling.....
"Honk honk",akpan announed his arrival.I picked up my hermes handbag that my elder sister bought for me!she called it my "luck n confidence kit"..I had never had a chance to use it before but today was going to b an exception!One last glance at the mirror showed my unblemished skin and unsteady grey eyes!Hoping that my dark blue tight fitting gown and black shoes were the ryt choice,I dashed into the car.
Listening to Akpan rant only increased the pace at which my tummy churned and turned.The worst case scenarios kept popping up like comic dialogues at different angles of my head! The "what ifs" were so many that one side of me wanted to instruct akpan to turn back while another side screamed "Oh,shut up and get this thing over with"!!!Oh well it was just from 9 to 5pm...I could live with that...Entering the hallway,I could feel the stares olredi! Nigerians are so rude when it comes to staring! Ma feet began to feel sticky in my patent leather shoes.I took the lift to the admin dept and after a few words,I was giving my I.d and other necessary information!Looking at my I.d,I almost burst into laughter!I looked like a deer infront of the head lights of a keke napep!I was squinting and there was a deep crease on my fore-head!Urghh!I followed the assistant as he directed me to my office!It was glass all through n beautiful bt like a deep cut without a plaster,I felt exposed!Staring at the fresh flowers by the window,my mind cast bk 2 my first and only relationship...it ws three years ago...my depression was taking a toll on my eating habits and I had jumped two dress sizes to a twelve...my mum made me join a gym...jogging to the gym was terrible...d part I hated d most were d obese children who saw me as their comic relief!
Sometin caught my eye one day!He ws 6ft 5....well built,broad shouldered n Caramel coated...he had sweat dripping all over as he lifted the 5kg dumb-bells...My heart took 2 jumps in a span of a mili second!Just when my common sense told me 2 pick my eyes from dis demi god and realise he wasn't my class,he looked up.toweled his face n killed me with a dimpled smile!I managed a feeble smile in return n continued self-conciously on d cardio!!!! At the end of my gym session,I stepped out into the sun n jogged slowly towards my apartment!I saw his shadow,then heard him panting so close,d hair at the back of my neck stood like it ws reciting d national pledge! "Hi,my name is Lekan,I know you are Annie"!I almost stoPped in my tracks!Did he just say he knew my name.I continued jogging n he followed relentlessly at my back!"Hey,stop for a bit nau!I jus want to get ur number",he said as he jogged at my back!At dis information,my brain began to process diff things;what does he want wiv me!a frnd wiv benefit?he wnts 2 dump me after using me?Hell no! My foot against a stone sure got me outta my tots as I fell face flat on d floor!So ashamed of myself, I feebly stretched out my hand to meet his halfway! He pulled me up so fast n hard that I landed on his well built chest and melted instantly! It was difficult to let go but I did mili seconds after! I said my thank u n picked up my pace conscious of my back! He didn't follow and even though I should have felt relieved, I felt a sickening
pain in my guts! I was going crazy bcos of sm1 I dint know other than his name or was it bcos I cldnt bliv a guy like dat will want to talk 2 me let alone ask 4 my number! I pulled off my trainers n slowly dragged my lazy chubby self 2 the bathroom!...
To be continued! Cheers!
I gained admission into Queens College Yaba and I was totally excited abt it..on monday morning,my mum put on my uniform and started whispering to me words of encouragement and confidence which she did all d tym...I sed bye to my mum hastily and complained thru out my journey to skul dat d driver was too slow...arriving in my class,I was late and as such,my teacher brot me to d front of class amidst d scared looks on people's faces..."Class,meet Annie Williams,she will be joining you all" she said....d next tin I heard was ,"She is a ghost","She is scary","Y r her eyes shaking",her hair is gold"....tears streamed down my face and I ran out of d class....I neva came back..d experience ruined me and my mum had to send me to london for schooling.....
"Honk honk",akpan announed his arrival.I picked up my hermes handbag that my elder sister bought for me!she called it my "luck n confidence kit"..I had never had a chance to use it before but today was going to b an exception!One last glance at the mirror showed my unblemished skin and unsteady grey eyes!Hoping that my dark blue tight fitting gown and black shoes were the ryt choice,I dashed into the car.
Listening to Akpan rant only increased the pace at which my tummy churned and turned.The worst case scenarios kept popping up like comic dialogues at different angles of my head! The "what ifs" were so many that one side of me wanted to instruct akpan to turn back while another side screamed "Oh,shut up and get this thing over with"!!!Oh well it was just from 9 to 5pm...I could live with that...Entering the hallway,I could feel the stares olredi! Nigerians are so rude when it comes to staring! Ma feet began to feel sticky in my patent leather shoes.I took the lift to the admin dept and after a few words,I was giving my I.d and other necessary information!Looking at my I.d,I almost burst into laughter!I looked like a deer infront of the head lights of a keke napep!I was squinting and there was a deep crease on my fore-head!Urghh!I followed the assistant as he directed me to my office!It was glass all through n beautiful bt like a deep cut without a plaster,I felt exposed!Staring at the fresh flowers by the window,my mind cast bk 2 my first and only relationship...it ws three years ago...my depression was taking a toll on my eating habits and I had jumped two dress sizes to a twelve...my mum made me join a gym...jogging to the gym was terrible...d part I hated d most were d obese children who saw me as their comic relief!
Sometin caught my eye one day!He ws 6ft 5....well built,broad shouldered n Caramel coated...he had sweat dripping all over as he lifted the 5kg dumb-bells...My heart took 2 jumps in a span of a mili second!Just when my common sense told me 2 pick my eyes from dis demi god and realise he wasn't my class,he looked up.toweled his face n killed me with a dimpled smile!I managed a feeble smile in return n continued self-conciously on d cardio!!!! At the end of my gym session,I stepped out into the sun n jogged slowly towards my apartment!I saw his shadow,then heard him panting so close,d hair at the back of my neck stood like it ws reciting d national pledge! "Hi,my name is Lekan,I know you are Annie"!I almost stoPped in my tracks!Did he just say he knew my name.I continued jogging n he followed relentlessly at my back!"Hey,stop for a bit nau!I jus want to get ur number",he said as he jogged at my back!At dis information,my brain began to process diff things;what does he want wiv me!a frnd wiv benefit?he wnts 2 dump me after using me?Hell no! My foot against a stone sure got me outta my tots as I fell face flat on d floor!So ashamed of myself, I feebly stretched out my hand to meet his halfway! He pulled me up so fast n hard that I landed on his well built chest and melted instantly! It was difficult to let go but I did mili seconds after! I said my thank u n picked up my pace conscious of my back! He didn't follow and even though I should have felt relieved, I felt a sickening
pain in my guts! I was going crazy bcos of sm1 I dint know other than his name or was it bcos I cldnt bliv a guy like dat will want to talk 2 me let alone ask 4 my number! I pulled off my trainers n slowly dragged my lazy chubby self 2 the bathroom!...
To be continued! Cheers!
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